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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Slip Out Of Sight Part 2

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Situasi 3
Berdasarkan tarbiyah Allah slpas bace komik SDK, aku akhirnya decide utk try hdupkan kmbali passion aku kt medical field..kerana aku x kuat lagi utk bace buku Moore's Clinical Anatomy atau Guyton's Medical Physiology, aku memilih komik tntg kedoktoran...Team Medical Dragon...

Reading this comic, it really ignites back my desire to be a doctor...how very exciting to be able to save someone...to know that I give benefit to others...semgt aku kmbali sgar dan aku tekad yg no matter what happen, I'll make it happen..I'll be a doctor..not only that, I dream to be a great doctor, inshaAllah...only if Allah wills it..

Not only my passion comes back, my determination also returns..Alhamdulillah...tapi aku tau, x ckup..I need to cure my imaan, my heart....Jadi, aku kembali membace buku2 fikrah seperti Raheeq Makhtum [x abes pown lagi bace], bace blog2 yg inspiring dan sebgainya...slowly, I planned my study strategy...

But still, aku rase aku still lack of something....the fear I'm feeling still ade...takut gagal sekali lagi..tiap2 malam aku mimpi ngeri[faham2lah maksud mimpi ngeri tu]....Aku nk menanges pown x mampu dh..too scary..tiap kali terjage dari mimpi tu, aku menggeletar...I can't tell anyone in the house cause they won't understand...bukan aku x try, aku dh penah try...mmg diorg x faham pown...so, ape lagi..Allah jelah tmpt mengadu..Alhamdulillah...sekurg2nya usaha utk aku b'gantung hanya pada Allah dipermudahkan...

Dan selagi ketakutan ni masih ade, I can't give my best in anything I do...akhirnya, dgn izin Allah...aku ditemukan dgn satu buku yg sgt2 buat aku happy... x penah happy smpi cmni krn sebuah buku [kecuali buku free]...


Aku x habes bace pown lagi, tapi little by little, my fear of failing is lifted by Allah by reading this book....Subhanallah...baru bace 1/3 of the book, dh ckup bagi aku kekuatan utk tulis blog semula [biiznillah jgn lupe]...antara tamparan terdahsyat yg aku dpt adlh from these excerpts...

"I always watch with great interest a young man's first failure," said Marden. "It is the index of his life, the measure of his success-power. The mere fact of his failure does not interest me much; but how did he take his defeat? What did he do next? Was he discouraged? Did he SLIP OUT OF SIGHT? Did he conclude that he had made a mistake in his vocation, and dabble in something else? Or did he get up and be at it again with a determinaton that knows no defeat?"

"Life is a struggle."

"Since our conception we have been struggling."

These are among the excerpts yg aku suke sgt2 krn plg same dgn aku...byak lagilah excerpt yg sgt best...kalu aku nk tulis sume yg aku suke, aku kene taip balik satu buku kt blog nih..hehe...

SLIP OUT OF SIGHT tu aku 'capital'kan sbb ni adlh bnd yg aku buat...2 kali dh...2 kali dh aku menjd golongan LOSER...T_T...

The other two excerpts dealing about 'struggle'...knp aku sgt suke dgn topik ni, kerana aku mmg tidak pernah perlu 'struggle' sebelum ni..bukannye x de halangan dan rintangan, cumenye bile aku igt balik, halangan dan rintangan itu sgtlah senang smpai aku x rase 'struggle' adlh the best word to describe usaha2 lampau aku yg sgt sdkit tu...and the best thing is, the 2nd excerpt tu very similar dgn ayat Al-Quran...

"Sungguh, Kami telah menciptakan manusia berada dalam susah-payah" 
[90:4]

Kerana itulah aku sgt suka topik 'struggle' dlm buku dan ayat Quran ni...sbb ianya memujuk aku tiap kali aku rase sush...menghembus sdkit kekuatan dlm diri aku tiap kali aku rase aku lemah dan x bermaya...


Kesimpulannya:

Dari Buku Dare to Fail, sgtlah lumrah seseorg itu akn SLIP OUT OF SIGHT when they face failures...kerana failures bring about negative consequences sperti kes aku..hilgnya self-esteem, determination dan sebgaimya....cumenye, ape yg kter buat dlm tempoh 'hibernation' tu perlu kter kawal agar x lari aqidah islam, agar x terbatal imaan yg sukar ditemui...

Dan juga,amatlah penting utk kter identifikasi masalah hati dan imaan kter...x de lar ckap aku ni sntiase tau kalu hati dan imaan aku masalah...in fact, even while writing this..aku pown x pasti adkah niat aku btol2 suci utk menyebarkan cinta Allah kpd hambaNya atau turut terselit niat utk riak' atau 'ujub...Naudzubillah...ape yg termampu aku buat hanyalah berusaha menyucikan amal ni dgn istighfar...

Lastly, semoga Allah redha...InshaAllah...


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