To Be STRONG

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....

My very own definition of a strong person is "never complain and be patient, always grateful, trust only Allah, cry only to Him and seek help from Him and ONLY Him.."

It has always been my dream to be this kind of person...

However, I notice my greatest weakness which is not that bad actually...instead, it's just contradictory with me desiring to be strong...I realize I get myself attach far too easily towards human-being <huiyoo..I talk as if I'm not human...=_='> this also means that I'll eventually become dependent upon them without me realizing it myself...fuhhh...<sweating...0_0'> Soooo irony....LOL!

Penat dh merepek bhse omputih nih..nk ckap melayu sudehhh..hehe..cm skrg nih, this post was drafted mase aku kt bhgian kecemasan, waiting utk pi jmp doktor...smpat plak mem'blog' merapik..to be honest, I need to  talk to someone now..jadi, saye memilih utk berckap ngn hp smbil tggu turn..T_T sedey + lonely...pathetic giler! 

Actually, aku sgt2 memerlukan my 2 dearest angels...

[dan2 happy terigt depa...]

Sgt2 miserable + fragile + sedeyh + lembik dan sume2 yg negatif la skrg nih....sgt2 nak tepon diorg dan nges2 cm aku buat time kesah fail aritu...hehehehe...kcik je tulis f*** word tu..segan..LOL!

Tapi, aku tersgtlah segan nak wat cmtu....diorg cbok sbgai med students...mane ade mase nk dgr ralat aku...jujur ckap, aku rase sgt2 insignificant dan inferior utk call diorg...even utk pk I'm still part of their lives...that's how badly injured my self-esteem and all...and this is the first reason why I won't do that..

Kesannye, hanya Allah yang tahu cmne broken + wreckednye hati aku nih sbb I have to refrain myself from calling these people...indeed, I have Allah to talk with, to cry with, but human nature...sometimes, I still need human to share my sorrow and pains...cause for now, I've been enduring it alone for quite some time, so it's kind of suffocating already...

Jadi, in other word, I've reached my limit...

Tetapi, I still managed to not to call them until now...why? Because there's one more reason yg menjadi cm string yg sgt halus dan kuat yg menahan hati aku daripada menanges2 dan call depa2 nih cm aku slalu buat dgn x malunye...

Allah sends me all these hardships as well as the pains alongside with them so that aku jd kuat..makin kuat....invincible towards kesedihan duniawi...memetik kata2 Saladin, 

"Kupinta dari Allah kekuatan, Allah kirimkan kesulitan..." 

[lebih kurg cmnila kata2 Saladin tu...]

Jadi, kalu aku akhirnya call diorg dan menangis2 sume, aku cm defeat the purpose of Allah sends me all these trials...besides, sia2 gak usaha aku endure bnd2 nih all this while..

Nnt, smpai akhirnya...aku akan tetap lembik physically dan mentally...jadi, aku akn ttp bertahan...saket cmne pown, I'll be patient...aku akn cube bersabar dan hanya mengadu nges2 kt Allah...I promise myself to try this...aku tau, I can never be perfectly strong...I will reach my limit again...mgkin, after this post aku x tahan dh....aku x tau...tapi...for now, I will hold on...

Lagipown, skrg ni aku ade buku nih...lupe nk letak tadi...siyesly, aku rase nk promote kt sume org sbb msti r sume org akan melalui saat2 duka kan??? Buku ni sgtlah bagus utk refill imaan yg tercabar saat2 duka dan sengsara..this is actually a present from a dear friend...thank you soo much..Allah je bley balas...=) x de r korg tros okay pas bace, but it really helps...a lot...dgn izin Allah,biiznillah...

O'Allah, gives me strength to hold on....inshaAllah...Aminnn

His Favorite Word

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

I'm not yet a mother, but when I'm writing this post...I feel like one...ngeeee~~~

Gambar2 kt atas nih gmbr cousin aku...name die Muhammad Shafwan Zikri..comeyl x?..hehe..aku yg ltak name tuh...sdap tak? Umur die baru 10 bulan 3 minggu..sbb tu aku rase cm mak sbb I'm 21 nk msuk 22..our age gap dh bley buat anak tau..and the fact yg aku juga salah seorg yg mendidik die, make me feel more like a mother...=_='

Aku pown x igt at this age, sptutnye budak cm die ni dh bley ckap ke blum...tp die ni, die dh bley ckap cket2...well, not exactly speak..more like, imitating...die ade habit to imitate whatever words yg kuar dari mulut ktorg..ktorg refer to aku, nenek aku, mak cik2 aku dan the other cousins...

It's really nothing special...seriously...die same je cm baby2 laen yg aku babysit...well, aku mmg our family babysitter so ramai gler cousins yg mude2 dari aku, aku tolg jage mase diorg kecik2...but what's so special about him smpi aku rase nk blog pasal die ni is his favorite word..

Nak tau tak ape favorite word si shafwan nih???

His favorite word is.....

ALLAH...<3<3<3

Contoh2 time die akan sbut Allah :-

1) Bile aku usik die, amek bantal busuk die, kalu die x ley nk amek...die akan sbut Allah kuat2...

2) Ataupown bile aku geram, aku pluk die kuat2...since die rimas, die akan berusaha nk kuar from the hug smbil sbut2 Allah...hehe..

3) When he want to reach something, but x smpai...

And many other situations when he'll say Allah....die sbut Allah tu mcm kter sbut Allah bile kter cm lenguh2 dan straighten our back..smbil straighten kter punye blakang tu kan kter akan sbut Allah in a special way?Cmtu r die sbut Allah...exactly the same...He's so brilliant..

Dari mane die dgr this word, Alhamdulillah from nenek aku...from aku jgak..dan other family members...tapi selalunye dari nenek aku...nenek aku dh umo 72 nk masuk 73...so, bile die nk bgun dari duduk tu, msti die akan says Allah~~~ sbb sush die nk bgun...Everytime shafwan dgar ni, msti pastu die sbut gak...ngeeee~~~

He also imitates other words from ktorg2..Alhamdulillah, so far x penah dgar lagi die imitate imappropriate words sbb die x penah dgar bnd tu kuar from mulut kami...Thank you sgt2 kt Allah...Rase bersyukur giler sbb our family never said bnd bukan2 dpan shafwan ni...Alhamdulillah jgak habit ktorg ni even time melatah, we'll say Allah...just imagine kalu melatah sbut b**i (lembu pendek)...Naudzubillah...

Ape bnd penting aku nk ckap kt cni adalah nmpak x to all adults out there...especially parents..children see what WE see, hear what WE hear, say what we SAY and do what WE do..that's why, always think wisely before you act in front of them...just imagine, hari2 kter maki2 b***h, b**i dan sebagainya...then, bile anak besar, diorg sbut the same things kter marah2, kter kate x elok..nmpak sgtlah tndakan tdak bijak di situ..obviously they won't listen sbb kter pown buat..

WE HAVE TO TEACH WITH EXAMPLE

Show them good examples, they will be good..bukannye berleter 24/7 soh anak jd elok when kter sndri pown x elok mane..Btol tak? Even kter pown x kan dgr ckap bos yg perangai huduh..same goes to children..they won't do things their parents don't do...so, everyone...ibu2, bapa2, kakak2 atau abang2 especially yg ade baby2 ni...behave appropriately...

For example, nk ajar anak sembhyang...you smbhyanglah jgak...smbhyang skali...they will follow...start from when they're babies..some people say, wtpe...baby lagi...bukan faham pown...tp, you don't know...the memories from zaman baby2 ni, sgt memberi kesan in the development of the babies in the future...bak kate pepatah, "melentur buluh, biarlah dari rebungnya...=)"

Skrg ni, tiap kali aku smbhyang, I even bring him pray with me...x smbhyang skali pown, aku ltak die dlm bilik smbhyg skali ngn aku...now, he can already say Allahuakbar...so cute...=) Nmpak tak? That's one example...

X de r aku nk ckap aku kakak yg baek ke pe, but it's something I'm trying to do...and it's a good thing...sbb mak aku succeed didik aku jd cm die cause she did this...so, this method is working, right? I'm trying to raise him as a REAL muslim...itulah yg aku try buat kt cousins yg laen jgak...sgt susah...baru aku faham susahnye mak abah aku didik aku kcik2 dlu....=_=' Kdg2, cm nk give up...

But Allah keeps me STRONG...cause I know, nilah antara bnd2 yg aku bley sumbg utk islam...nk pi perang, mane mampu...harap2 sgt this small effort dpt tmbah amanah saham akhirat aku...dan sgt2 harap ibadah2 ni btol2 suci dari riya', tkbur dan ape saje yg bley rosakkn amal aku nih...Hope it's counted...inshaAllah...May Allah bless...everyone, pray for me...