Slip Out Of Sight Part 2

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Situasi 3
Berdasarkan tarbiyah Allah slpas bace komik SDK, aku akhirnya decide utk try hdupkan kmbali passion aku kt medical field..kerana aku x kuat lagi utk bace buku Moore's Clinical Anatomy atau Guyton's Medical Physiology, aku memilih komik tntg kedoktoran...Team Medical Dragon...

Reading this comic, it really ignites back my desire to be a doctor...how very exciting to be able to save someone...to know that I give benefit to others...semgt aku kmbali sgar dan aku tekad yg no matter what happen, I'll make it happen..I'll be a doctor..not only that, I dream to be a great doctor, inshaAllah...only if Allah wills it..

Not only my passion comes back, my determination also returns..Alhamdulillah...tapi aku tau, x ckup..I need to cure my imaan, my heart....Jadi, aku kembali membace buku2 fikrah seperti Raheeq Makhtum [x abes pown lagi bace], bace blog2 yg inspiring dan sebgainya...slowly, I planned my study strategy...

But still, aku rase aku still lack of something....the fear I'm feeling still ade...takut gagal sekali lagi..tiap2 malam aku mimpi ngeri[faham2lah maksud mimpi ngeri tu]....Aku nk menanges pown x mampu dh..too scary..tiap kali terjage dari mimpi tu, aku menggeletar...I can't tell anyone in the house cause they won't understand...bukan aku x try, aku dh penah try...mmg diorg x faham pown...so, ape lagi..Allah jelah tmpt mengadu..Alhamdulillah...sekurg2nya usaha utk aku b'gantung hanya pada Allah dipermudahkan...

Dan selagi ketakutan ni masih ade, I can't give my best in anything I do...akhirnya, dgn izin Allah...aku ditemukan dgn satu buku yg sgt2 buat aku happy... x penah happy smpi cmni krn sebuah buku [kecuali buku free]...

Aku x habes bace pown lagi, tapi little by little, my fear of failing is lifted by Allah by reading this book....Subhanallah...baru bace 1/3 of the book, dh ckup bagi aku kekuatan utk tulis blog semula [biiznillah jgn lupe]...antara tamparan terdahsyat yg aku dpt adlh from these excerpts...

"I always watch with great interest a young man's first failure," said Marden. "It is the index of his life, the measure of his success-power. The mere fact of his failure does not interest me much; but how did he take his defeat? What did he do next? Was he discouraged? Did he SLIP OUT OF SIGHT? Did he conclude that he had made a mistake in his vocation, and dabble in something else? Or did he get up and be at it again with a determinaton that knows no defeat?"

"Life is a struggle."

"Since our conception we have been struggling."

These are among the excerpts yg aku suke sgt2 krn plg same dgn aku...byak lagilah excerpt yg sgt best...kalu aku nk tulis sume yg aku suke, aku kene taip balik satu buku kt blog nih..hehe...

SLIP OUT OF SIGHT tu aku 'capital'kan sbb ni adlh bnd yg aku buat...2 kali dh...2 kali dh aku menjd golongan LOSER...T_T...

The other two excerpts dealing about 'struggle'...knp aku sgt suke dgn topik ni, kerana aku mmg tidak pernah perlu 'struggle' sebelum ni..bukannye x de halangan dan rintangan, cumenye bile aku igt balik, halangan dan rintangan itu sgtlah senang smpai aku x rase 'struggle' adlh the best word to describe usaha2 lampau aku yg sgt sdkit tu...and the best thing is, the 2nd excerpt tu very similar dgn ayat Al-Quran...

"Sungguh, Kami telah menciptakan manusia berada dalam susah-payah" 

[90:4]

Kerana itulah aku sgt suka topik 'struggle' dlm buku dan ayat Quran ni...sbb ianya memujuk aku tiap kali aku rase sush...menghembus sdkit kekuatan dlm diri aku tiap kali aku rase aku lemah dan x bermaya...

Kesimpulannya:

Dari Buku Dare to Fail, sgtlah lumrah seseorg itu akn SLIP OUT OF SIGHT when they face failures...kerana failures bring about negative consequences sperti kes aku..hilgnya self-esteem, determination dan sebgaimya....cumenye, ape yg kter buat dlm tempoh 'hibernation' tu perlu kter kawal agar x lari aqidah islam, agar x terbatal imaan yg sukar ditemui...

Dan juga,amatlah penting utk kter identifikasi masalah hati dan imaan kter...x de lar ckap aku ni sntiase tau kalu hati dan imaan aku masalah...in fact, even while writing this..aku pown x pasti adkah niat aku btol2 suci utk menyebarkan cinta Allah kpd hambaNya atau turut terselit niat utk riak' atau 'ujub...Naudzubillah...ape yg termampu aku buat hanyalah berusaha menyucikan amal ni dgn istighfar...

Lastly, semoga Allah redha...InshaAllah...

Slip Out of Sight Part 1

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Aku kembali lagi...bile check2 balek blog, rupe2nye aku nih mengambil mase 2 bulan bile aku masuk state 'hibernation' atau cm tjuk post ni mencdgkan 'Slip Out Of Sight'...

Situasi 1
Aku masuk state ni lagi wlupown pade asalnye aku x berniat nk msuk dh pas aku berjaya keluar pertama kali dlu...tapi ntah kenape, one day tu aku bgun...aku rase all of my friends, from NUMed, Semashur, SKTJ even from Herbalife scary utk aku...except for my very close family, yg len2 aku rase cm satu force yg bile2 mase akn crash aku punye self-esteem, jati dri or whatever you call it even diri aku sendri..

Okeyh, jujur ckap..ntah ape ntah perasaan yg aku describe kt atas nih..tapi ayat2 kt atas nilah the best description knp aku msuk state 'hibernation' kali kedua..


Pengajaran dari situasi 1:
Negative thinking comes from hati yg negatif..biasenye, sbgai manusia, tindakan kter, ape yg kter fikir mmg heavily influence by our hearts...bertetapan dgn hadith pasal hati...sape tau, angkat tangan sekarang....

Yeay! ramai dh tahu kan??? jom kter refresh lagi...

"Ingatlah sesungguhnya di dalam tubuh ada segumpal daging, jika ia baik maka baiklah seluruh tubuhnya dan apabila ia buruk maka buruklah seluruh tubuhnya.Ingatlah ia adalah hati"
[Bukhari dan Muslim]

Situasi 2

Yes, indeed..tidak malu aku akui aku mmg ade masalah hati..selame 2 bulan hibernation nih, aku hbiskan dgn berfikir dan membace...I really did read a lot...sbb setelah fikir2 dan mengenang zaman kegembiraan, hdup tanpa masalah dan gelisah...aku perasan yg zaman tu adalah zaman di mana aku sgt rajin membaca....ranging from educational books smpai lar komik, even surat khabar lame bungkus nasi lemak pown aku bace...tapi among all those books, mstilah ade one type of books yg aku cenderung...ngeee~~~ 

KOMIK

Aku sgt suke bace bnd nih...tapi setelah mengenal youtube dan dailymotion, aku mule hilg minat kt bnd nih...lepas tu, kenal plak dgn usrah dan tarbiyah...maka, tamatlah kegilaan aku kpd komik wlupown masih ade koleksi komik2 jiwang, Dragon Ball, Detective Conan dan Misteri Naga...x tersmpai hati aku nk buang...tapi ntah dlm kotak mane ntah aku x pasti...Missing In Action (M.I.A)...ntah2 dh hncur kene makan anai2..Wallahua'lam..

Semasa kotak2 ni masih belum M.I.A, everytime aku tgok kotak2 yg isi menatang2 nih, aku rase cm OMG!!!! Byak skali wang aku habeskan utk bnd x berfaedah tu sdgkan duet tuh bley aku sumbg ke Gaza, x pown bg mak aku ke, tok ke...penyesalan yg terase, perghhhh!!! x tergambar dgn kata2...

Tapi, aku juge notice something...pada masa itu, pada masa apa yg aku kisahkan hanyalah bile Detective Conan nk kuar buku baru, ckup x duet nk beli komik jiwang baru Gempak Starz kt 7E, hdup aku sgtlah mudah...kerunsingan paling trok hanyalah kene kumpul duet...

Jadi, dlm state imaan dan hati yg berada di ICU tanpa bantuan dari resuscitation machine seperti usrah, aku pown membuat keputusan dangkal dgn membaca komik semula..aku buat keputusan utk cari balek satu komik ni yg aku bace mgkin time drjh 4/5 cmtu dlm majalah Kreko bertajuk Samurai Deeper Kyo (SDK)...

Aku just nk kembali ke zaman dahulu, zaman mase aku hanyalah seorg bdak kcik who had nothing to worry about, no responsibility...the old me, who got anything without difficulties...

However, as Allah is the MOST LOVING, Dia, dgn murah hatiNya menghantar tarbiyah yg x aku sgka2 dlm komik tu...T_T 

Theme dlm komik ni ialah "always sticking to your beliefs in order to accomplish something"...lagi satu theme adlh "live your life with passion"...Basically theme die, DETERMINATION and PASSION...These are 2 things yg aku hilang when I faced the BIGGEST failure in my career as a student..bukannye x penah gagal lgsg..aku pnah gagal AddMath mase Form 4 dan penah gak gagal byk subject mse IB dlu time zaman2 aku x gi kelas 2 bulan..the only different is those 2 failures are not the end for my Secondary School and IB life..towards the end of both, I can be considered emerging from the battle as a WINNER...sbb tu kali ni punye failure [btw,malas nk elaborate lebih2 sbb dh byk kali ckp pasl ni,nnt org bosan plak] adalah yg terbesar stkt nih....

Aku pggil kegagalan kali ini yg terbesar stkt ini sbb bnd ni mampu membuat aku hilg DETERMINATION and PASSION...I don't even know what I want anymore...I just live for the sake of living sbb x kan nk bunuh diri...aku masih inginkn syurga dan takut murka Allah...makan, tidur, solat, bace komik, tgok tv, pi kelas mandarin...nilah rutin harian aku..x de aim langsung...medic school??? aku tolak jauh2 dari fikiran aku...although I said I'm afraid of Allah's wrath, the ignorance act yg aku buat ni sbnrnye mengundang murkaNya...cume aku x sedar...

Ntah mane aku punye determination nk jadi doktor...ntah mane passion aku towards medical field..x de dh on9 tgok medscape ke ape..on9 utk bace komik je...tapi, kerana Allah, melalui SDK, aku baru perasan hilangnye 2 bnd nih dlm dri aku...to cut it short, hero komik ni, Kyo ni hanyalah seorg samurai biasa..yg buat die jadi luar biasa adlh his determination to get what he want, which is to be the strongest...byak kali die di ambang kematian, tapi die sentiasa menang...x pernah kalah, simply because he sticks to his beliefs..dan juga, he does what he does with passion..bile die angkt pedang, even when he was bleeding to death, die akan seronok and bahagie sesgt...

This comic also teaches me about BELIEVE..kt page akhir SDK, the author said, 

"So long as you believe with all your heart..you will always be able to find your own true path"

Btw, bnd ni sebnrnye Islam dah ajar...x pecaye??? Imaanlah...Imaan tu kan percaya...Tapi biaselah, Allah dah tnjuk jalan lurus, saje manusia ni nk belok2 dlu msuk semak baru nk jmp jalan yg betul..aku x terkecuali...

Pengajaran dari situasi 2:

Allah tu sgt sgt sgt[kali infinity] penyayang terhadap hamba2Nya...bygkan, dlm mase aku abaikan tanggungjwb aku sbgai khalifah dan 'abid, dgn izinNya, Allah ttp menghantar rahmat hidayahNya utk aku...and lagi hebat, hidayah tu smpi dlm mase aku memilih utk futur....T_T Subhanallah, MashaAllah...pemurahnya Allah ni...x nak Allah lagi??? mmg nak kene cmpak masuk gaung Cameron Highland...

One more thing to learn...

Once your soul has been touched by the awesomeness of being in imaan and Islam, you will never be able to run away..x de lar nk ckap aku ni dh berimaan dgn imaan yg sempurna, tapi once kter dh rase manisnya imaan ni, wlupown sekecik zarah, sesekejap kelipan mata, hati kter ttp akan rase bersalah dan terkesan dgn dosa yg kter buat...sbb ape aku ckap cmni...bygkan, smbil bace komik[futur] aku ttp relate bnd2 dlm komik tu ngn Allah, ngan hdup aku, cmne nk aplikasi dlm usrah dan tarbiyah dan mcm2 lagi smpai aku cm nak ckap kt Allah yg aku x nk pk pasal tu..aku nk bace komik for the sake of entertainment je...tapi ofkoslah kerana kasih sayang Allah yg luasnya x terjangkau akal manusia, detikan dlm hati aku tu Allah x kabulkan...x dpt byg kalu Allah kabulkan..Naudzubillah...T_T  Menggeletar fikir ape yg bakal terjadi...

To Be Continued...

"

My WHY

Bismillah...

Kapt. Saiful (15K Executive President Team Member, last month income RM378K) ade cakap mase Zero to Hero (14-15 April) haritu, amende mukadimah die x bape nak igt, tapi yang paling aku igt ayat kat bawah nih..

"Sebab tu, why kter kene kuat..kene strong, baru kter mampu bertahan..."

Erm..

Kurang faham sebenarnye cmne nak tau WHY aku tu strong ke tak n kenape WHY tu kene strong..then, I bought this book...

[x habes bace pown lagi, tapi BEST giler!!]

This book makes me UNDERSTAND ape maksud kapt. Saiful @ name manje die PAK YANG..=)

Dulu2, mase mule2 start istikharah kat Allah nak buat herbalife, mungkin WHY aku hanyalah keluarga + DUET...tapi, bile dah masuk NUMed dan kenal angel2 sekeliling aku, WHY aku bertambah dan KUAT..Alhamdulillah...selain keluarga, merekalah yang buat aku kuat dan trus bertahan walaupown LETIH SANGAT cm aku cter kat entry  

Bile terigt kat muke2 nih...

..yang sentiase percaya kat aku, yang YAKIN aku boleh berjaya both HERBALIFE + MEDICINE, buat aku rase...

"I can NEVER give up cause these BEAUTIFUL people believe in me and trust me without FAIL...so, I have TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF that I CAN and I WILL SUCCEED"

So, this entry was done just to show my gratitude to these people and I want to tell them that...

"KORANG, I LOVE YOU GUYS SOOOOOO MUCH!!!"

hehehehe..jgak nak ckap kat my topmost WHY iaitu :-

"Allah, Alhamdulillah...thank you sooo much for your TRUST in me, for these angels around me..I love you and hoping to always in love with you FOREVER, till hereafter...Allah, give me STRENGTH to stay STRONG, InsyaAllah..Aminnnn..."