Part 2:MOST Precious GIFTS from BeingME conference

"..it is just not enough for me to take ACTION.."

*smirking*

How foolish I've been, to be ungrateful with all the hidayah Allah had given me..the topic discussed  in BeingME totally reflects how arrogance, how foolish I am as a mere SLAVE..I was once heard in an Israk Mikraj talk back in my place,

"There are ONLY 3 things a slave can say,
1) Yes
2) Okay
3) Alright!!!
These 3 things ONLY..."

But what I did was horrible..though I didn't say it out loud but inside, I was screaming my heart out..Keep questioning, keep claiming I've done my best, why Allah didn't give me what I wanted MOST at the moment...How shameless I was..

Tears kept falling without the intention to stop..Acting like a LOSER...If I was my own CREATOR, I shall punish myself dreadfully..

But

My CREATOR is ALLAH

I already received undeserving BLESS just by a fact that Allah is my CREATOR

The Most GRACIOUS, Most MERCIFUL

No matter how much I rejected HIM, He always make me feel He's there with me..No matter how hard I tried to disobey Him, He'll never let me..He shows me He loves me by putting a feeling of discomfort or painful sensation in my heart every time I planned not to perform Salah, not to remember Him..Everytime I tried to push Allah from my thought, Allah kept appearing...

STRICT REMINDER 
This is not for a fact that I'm pious or whatsoever or for a fact that I'm special..It is solely due to Allah's MERCY and how LOVING Allah is and also prayer...


"Allah, no matter how far I ran away, please Allah...please...NEVER LET ME GO..Even if it was me who let You go, please Allah...Don't let me go...Aminnn"

[40:60] "...and ask Me for anything, I will respond to your invocation..."

Lesson 1

Remember..We are only human, SLAVE...Never forget to ask from Allah to take care of us, to preserve us in Iman and Islam..InshaAllah, He'll definitely save us..He certainly will..As being a caliph in this Dunya, downward turn of our Iman is part of being a human as described in the hadith below..

One day Abu Bakr (RA) and Hanzala (RA) came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said: ‘Hanzala is a hypocrite, Messenger of Allah!’ The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘Why is that?’ I said, ‘Messenger of Allah, when we are with you, you remind us of the Garden and Fire and it is as if we could see them with our eyes. When we leave your presence, we attend to our wives, children and estates in a state of great heedlessness.’ The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘By the One in whose hand my soul is, if you were to remain in the state you are in when you are in my presence and in the dhikr (remembrance), the angels would shake hands with you on your bed and in the street, but, Hanzala, different times are not the same.’ three times.” [Muslim]
[credit to:http://www.yasminmogahed.com/2012/04/25/this-is-awakening/]

Honestly, I'm ashamed...but, after these *slapping*heart-throbbing*firing*bombing* sessions during BeingME only I started to take ACTIONS...
Just by looking at the topic made your heart shiver, especially those DISBELIEVERS or who acts like one..like ME

[to be continued]

Part 1:MOST Precious GIFTS from BeingME conference

Alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah for still giving me TODAY for an opportunity to seek for Allah's forgiveness and blessings..Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah...

How gratitude I am to Allah, I couldn't express it in words

*loss of words temporarily*

Before I talk about the knowledge I gained, I'd rather talk about my journey to gain this PRECIOUS GIFT from Allah, BeingME conference...

In conclusion, what I got from BeingME is much much more than just knowledge...I don't actually know how Rasulullah pbuh really felt when He was gifted with Israk and Mikraj but I can actually imagine how the feeling is like..

Just imagine the sorrow, the pain of losing people you love sooooooo much continuously..you're in DEAD END..you've almost reached your limit then you were gifted with something MORE VALUABLE than anything... Well, more valuable is an understatement..PRECIOUS, nothing can compare to it..well, even precious also seem like an understatement for me...this is how I imagined Rasulullah pbuh were feeling when he was granted with Israk Mikraj...

That's exactly how I would describe my feeling after the conference..

My life was a mess..I failed an exam that I worked really hard on [in fact it's 1st time I studied that hard in my entire life], my family is TOTAL MESS, got to separate from close friends that always support me no-matter-what [well, it's holiday] and need to freeze my growth in Herbalife due to this failure [means:I'm self-destructing myself]...=_='

[too much of negativity to put it clearly without the dash...=_=']

Well, it did not seem that HARD when I listed it down..but, the feeling I was feeling back there was too much to bear..I lost my grip to Allah suddenly...Not that he left me behind, it was me who ran away...I was being rebellious inside, questioning what He want to tell me actually...T_T 

[70:19] "Verily, man (disbeliever) was created very impatient "

Until, one of my sahabah (may all the blessings from Allah be upon him,Aminnn) shared this hadith with me..

The prophets and righteous people are afflicted the most, and their rewards are the highest. Sa'd (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: " The most in their suffering among the people are the prophets, then the best, then the (next) best. One is afflicted in accordance with his deen (faith). If his deen is firm his affliction is hard, and if his deen is weak, his affliction is light. Indeed, one would be so much subjected to adversity until he walks among the people without any sins. " [Ahmad, Tirmithee]

[credit to:http://walk2islam.blogspot.com/2010/04/hardships-benefits-believer.html]

After that, I started to regain back my strength. I went to Islamic talks, I read lots of Islamic books and I searched on the internet what I needed, videos, blog poses or whatever necessary to raise up my Imaan..that's what I hope at least..and I think it does, but it's just not enough for me to take ACTION

Then, I saw the commercial of BeingME on televison, Al-Hijrah channel..At the moment, deep down I had this one feeling..It's a feeling of wanting something so badly that you just can't move on if you don't get it..It was that kind of feeling..But, I saw the date and I thought, 

"It's too late already, the ticket must be sold out..besides, I'm going to JB that day to prepare for my re-sit exam."

However, 

"Indeed, Allah is the BEST planner"

Exactly the day before the conference (29th June) only I started to frantically searching for a ticket...[my fault since I didn't do it earlier, serves me right...=_='] 

Alhamdulillah..after quite a hard work, I managed to get a ticket for myself..

Alhamdulillah..this can only be possible due to Allah, due to HIS Rahman and Rahim..

Thank you sooo much Allah, for this gift...

SUBHANALLAH!!!

ALHAMDULLILAH!!!

MASHA ALLAH!!!

ALLAHUAKBAR!!!

[to be continued]